What happens when you need and want to tell the truth about things you can’t quite remember? These blog posts document my many attempts to remember and to tell the truth.

1989: Death Part Two – Reflections on Loss and Healing

I met with Dr. Swanson in his office on Monday, where he scheduled my surgery for Thursday. Dennis wasn’t with me during this visit—he was just as overwhelmed by my cancer diagnosis as I was.

We both felt afraid, anxious, and helpless. Dennis struggled to be the caretaker I needed at the time. On the other hand, Dr. Swanson was excellent at explaining everything clearly. However, I was too distracted and stressed to fully process what he was saying.

When Dr. Swanson noticed Dennis wasn’t there, he asked why, and I told him Dennis wasn’t feeling well. Although nervous, I have a knack for compartmentalizing my emotions in tough moments. During our conversation, Dr. Swanson inquired about my religious beliefs. I explained […]

Embracing Life’s Journey: Finding Meaning in Every Moment

On January 4, 1989, my two-year-old daughter noticed something unusual on the back of my neck. We had just finished taking down the Christmas decorations, ensuring we could fully celebrate her birthday on January 9 without any holiday reminders. That morning, after showering together, I wrapped my hair in a towel and gave her a piggyback ride. At first, I didn’t realize what Wendy was pointing at.

“What’s that boo-boo, Mom?” she asked.

Curious, I turned to see a small, dime-sized mole.

“Great, another mole,” I replied. “I’ll call my dermatologist in a few days.”

I didn’t think much of it then; I had plenty of moles, and most had been removed without issue. I finally contacted my dermatologist, Dr. Rolf Johnsen, on February […]

Life Isn’t Just About Improvement: Embracing Growth, Balance, and Presence

For a long time, I unknowingly thought the aim was to correct every part of myself I considered flawed.

That’s the foundation of the entire self-improvement industry.

In essence, I aimed for self-perfection. I thought I could only embrace myself fully after reaching a certain level of personal growth. By relying on this behavior, I placed the power to accept myself beyond my reach, which deepened my sense of helplessness and incompleteness. Naturally, nothing I did ever felt sufficient.

I was stunned to realize that the identity I had been striving to improve was never confirmed. I had created it in my mind. This is a common experience for all of us. We picture ourselves as distinct individuals with certain traits shaped by […]

The Power of Venting: Why Expressing Your Feelings Matters

While general election years are typically stressful as we anticipate our next president, the last few have been particularly emotionally charged due to heightened hostility between political parties and growing disdain toward those with opposing views. With politics playing such a prominent role in our daily lives, it often becomes a frequent topic of conversation between family, friends, neighbors, and even romantic partners—sometimes leading to conflict when disagreements arise.

Yesterday, on a Facebook page, someone I’ve known for many years unexpectedly directed a harsh and unprovoked attack toward me based solely on their assumption of my choice in the presidential election. It seemed like they were seeking attention, empathy, and validation through this outburst.

While expressing their emotions may have offered them […]

The Power of Noticing: How Small Things in Life Make a Big Difference

Grappling with life’s purpose and discovering meaning in the smallest moments. My seventies have been a peculiar period. Life has felt routine in many respects—so ordinary and uneventful that it seems barely worth noting. I find myself pondering questions like: Why are we here? What have I accomplished? What’s the meaning of it all? Realizing there may be no real answer brings a sense of quiet resignation, more from fatigue than any profound revelation, yet there’s still some relief. With limited time ahead, you may as well savor what’s left.

In the end, I suppose, we all arrive at the same conclusion—centuries of humanity gradually coming to terms with the absurdity of it all.

I explored various creative paths in my younger […]

By |2025-03-04T15:47:51-07:00September 24th, 2024|Dore Frances, Why Wisdom Is Harder Than You Think|0 Comments

The True Meaning of Friendship: Exploring Deep Connections & Bonds

A friend sees beyond your flaws and celebrates the beauty in your life.

True friendship exists in the quiet moments, where words aren’t needed to feel understood.

Recently, a few people have contacted me on social media after coming across my blog.

They were intrigued by what I shared and wanted to connect. In every instance, I evaluate the person before deciding whether to accept or decline their invitation. Sometimes, instead of immediately accepting, I’ll ask why they’re interested in connecting. More often than not, the usual reply is that they want to be friends. I explain to them that a friend is someone truly special, someone I’ve built a close connection with over time, who supports me and has earned my trust. […]

Relationships Beyond Commitment: Understanding True Connection and Growth

I’ve experienced a profound love that sets the standard and makes me feel truly blessed. Deep relationships are soulful connections that involve understanding a person through their existence.

Many people seem to settle, as I did for years, until I was fortunate to experience a deep, genuine connection.

Relationships are often mistakenly seen as just a commitment between two people, a dedication with a sense of belonging to one another. That limited view can foster expectations, possessiveness, and inevitable disappointment, leading to feelings of greed, ignorance, ownership, and selfish desires.

I’ve given dating many tries. Through my one authentic love experience, I’ve learned that a healthy relationship is about two people supporting each other on their spiritual paths. Whenever I share this perspective, […]

Healing Childhood Wounds: Transforming Pain into Wisdom and Strength

Content Warning: Discussion of Bullying, Emotional, Physical, and Sexual Child Abuse

My Mindful Response to Overcoming Childhood Abuse

If you’re an adult man or woman living in the U.S. or any Western country today, chances are your upbringing was influenced by some peer abuse.

As a boy or a girl, you were likely a bystander, a perpetrator, or a victim of some bullying.

There was a time when George and I were growing up in California in the ’60s and ’70s; such behavior was dismissed with phrases like “boys will be boys” or “she is just a playground bully.” That’s no longer the case. Denial is a common and self-protective coping mechanism that many men and women adopt in early adulthood. While we may […]

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