While general election years are typically stressful as we anticipate our next president, the last few have been particularly emotionally charged due to heightened hostility between political parties and growing disdain toward those with opposing views. With politics playing such a prominent role in our daily lives, it often becomes a frequent topic of conversation between family, friends, neighbors, and even romantic partners—sometimes leading to conflict when disagreements arise.

Yesterday, on a Facebook page, someone I’ve known for many years unexpectedly directed a harsh and unprovoked attack toward me based solely on their assumption of my choice in the presidential election. It seemed like they were seeking attention, empathy, and validation through this outburst.

While expressing their emotions may have offered them some temporary relief, it caused significant harm to me. This incident ended our connection on Facebook. I blocked them and their phone number, and I spent the evening processing the resulting anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges his words caused. This experience was particularly troubling because it came from someone who works in our industry, coaches adolescents and parents, and identifies as a Buddhist.

Their outrageous behavior left me needing support to cope with the emotional toll it took on me.

This individual crossed a line by making an inappropriate public statement without asking my opinion or who I was supporting. I wasn’t prepared to handle such an intense confrontation at that moment. There was no opportunity for mutual dialogue; instead, it was an overwhelming, one-sided attack. The name-calling and venting in his public post were horrific.

He felt the need to vent, and his emotions poured uncontrollably across the page without regard for personal boundaries. His post lacked any sense of healthy communication. He appeared eager to offload all his feelings onto someone else as quickly as possible. And there I was.

Once he began his post, it seemed like he couldn’t hold back, with his words pouring out uncontrollably as if there was no end.

I had no chance to mentally or emotionally brace myself for what I would receive.

He seemed to focus solely on me, and the hateful name-calling was utterly unacceptable.

Sharing attacks on others through social media to seek validation or sympathy is a cry for help.

While we typically view social media as a tool for staying connected with friends and family, it can become a harmful environment for some individuals. It can be challenging to bear the weight of someone else’s trauma.

Norman, please take some time to reflect on yourself and explore the reasons behind using this behavior as a coping mechanism. You may want to consider therapy to help you.

If you find yourself arguing with a friend over politics or feeling angry and upset with loved ones about their choice of president, you’re not alone. A recent survey highlights how the nation’s deep political divide strains social connections and affects friendships. Even long-standing relationships are buckling under the pressure, adding a new layer to “social distancing.”

A bit more listening to understand, less effort spent on persuading, and a more significant dose of intellectual humility would benefit everyone immensely.

I hope the rest of my friends will value the years we’ve known each other more than my choices in the voting booth.

To heal the nation’s deep divide, we need more conversation, not less — and it must be healthy and productive. The first step is moving these discussions off social media and into face-to-face conversations.

The most constructive response you can offer on someone’s social media post is, ‘Can we find a time to talk about this? I’d like to hear more of your perspective.”