Epictetus once said that all philosophy begins with self-knowledge. When I entered 1161 Covington Road, the air grew heavy with darkness. It clung to everything. Before long, the police would become familiar visitors to that address.

It wasn’t just the atmosphere; it was in the air, in the silence that followed.

Then came Dotti’s words—cold, cutting, and final:

“You two aren’t wanted here. Who would want children who killed their mother? Just stay out of my way.”

Our father said nothing. He stood silent, just as he would far too often in the years to come.

Two small children, still reeling from the loss of their mother just months earlier, stood there with tiny suitcases in hand.

Everything from our previous life was gone—erased in an instant. All that remained were a few belongings and the weight of what was to come: a house steeped in abuse, conflict, unbearable hardship, and years of secrets and deception.

George and I were about to face something unimaginable—seven years of hardship for me, and nine for him.

Very early on, I had to confront the full reality of what was happening to us.

In that moment of reckoning, I made a silent vow: if I ever found a way out, I would do everything I could to take George with me.

I would also make something of the pain, turning this suffering into purpose. It was never a path I would have chosen, but I was determined not to carry regret.

To me, that is the essence of resilience. I had no control over being in that house. I couldn’t decide how long I’d be there or what was done to me. However, I could choose who I remained on the inside.

Survival wasn’t promised, but if I made it out, I knew I could take back control—if only by deciding what to do with the weight of my life.

I would decide what lessons I’d take, how to heal, and how to help others through my story. I could not stop the abuse. I could not stop Dotti from beating me.

But I could decide how the story would end. And somehow, it prepared me. I endured. In enduring, I began to understand: this was not the end of me. It was forging something in me for a future I could not yet imagine. I had to hold onto the hope that there was purpose in the pain, that this wasn’t meaningless.

Failure only wins when you refuse to learn from it. When you learn, it becomes a lesson, and lessons shape lives. I endured every moment of that pain, and I chose to let it shape me into someone stronger, wiser, and more compassionate. I could have let bitterness define me. But I didn’t. I chose to become better.

Stoicism
Stoicism is a philosophy that emphasizes self-mastery and inner strength to rise above destructive emotions.

At its core, it teaches that by cultivating clear, rational, and unbiased thinking, one can align with universal reason and live a life of wisdom and purpose.