1161 Covington Road, Los Altos, California where I lived from 1963 to 1970.

Growing Up with a Stepmother Struggling with Bipolar Disorder

Unpredictable actions, intense emotional shifts, and suicide threats.

I am opening up about my experience growing up with a step-parent who had bipolar disorder.

At 12, I moved into the house at 1161 Covington Road in Los Altos, California, and began life in what appeared to be a typical middle-class family.

However, those close to us—friends, neighbors, and relatives—were well aware of the underlying turmoil. I never knew which version of my stepmother I’d face each morning. Would she be the nurturing stepmom I had expected, as promised by my father?

Or the aloof stepmom who insisted I start looking after myself and care for my three younger brothers and even demanded that I pay for any food I took from the kitchen?

Some […]

Twelve Is Far Too Young for Adult Responsibilities – My Story

With no other option, I had to adapt quickly to my circumstances.

I worked for my father during every holiday, summer, and weekend. I pulled my stepmother off the driveway when she passed out drunk and dragged her into the house.

I also cared for three younger boys, aged 9, 4, and 2—changing diapers, washing their clothes, packing George’s school lunch, and preparing meals.

Until now, I’ve rarely spoken about those years. The Vietnam War was a constant presence on television, fueling my lifelong disdain for war. At fourteen, I considered becoming a nun and joining a seminary, but the philosophy and theology felt overwhelming.

I was more drawn to action and introspection in a household filled with talkers.

I seldom spoke unless directly addressed.

Making […]

Why Forgiveness Felt Impossible – My Journey to Letting Go

My stepmother grew up in a home marked by abusive alcoholism, and I suspect she may have had borderline personality disorder. When George and I moved into her house, I was eleven, and he was eight. The memory that stands out most from that day is her explosive anger and emotional outbursts.

Our dad had never told her—the woman he married and had two children with—that he also had two adopted children.

After living with our elderly Italian grandparents for two years, he had no choice but to bring us to her house; there was nowhere else to go. Nowhere else he would let us go. My dad, being very non-confrontational, never intervened or insisted that Dotti change.

Unlike what you might expect, […]

The Only Way My Dad Knew How to Show Love – A Personal Reflection

The only way my dad knew how to show love …… was through money.

Money was his universal emotional language, the medium for his apologies, appeasements, grief, guilt, joy, love, pride, and attempts at reconciliation.

I always struggled to see the value in what he was offering. Despite everything that happened in my childhood, I craved a genuine connection.

For my step-brothers, though, money was enough.

They used to say, “If Dad can’t express his feelings, his money works just fine for me.”

Growing up, we never struggled financially. My father was a veterinarian with […]

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