It’s a harsh lesson that took me seventy years to (almost) figure out.

“To thine own self be true.”

As morning light filters through my window, I wake up with a sense of gratitude. For most of my life, I never stopped to question my path.

I went through life like an old-fashioned jukebox, automatically playing the tunes others chose whenever a coin was dropped. It took 20 years in the corporate world before I finally woke up and struck out alone.

After thirty years as an independent advocate and educational consultant, I realized I was still expected to follow someone else’s script. I refused. I was running my own business on my terms and living my truth.

That independence came at a cost. Lon Woodbury of Struggling Teens wrote about me, questioning my motives, while the Independent Educational Consultant Association (IECA) spread negative remarks about me in their private, members-only discussions.

Fortunately, individuals with integrity shared some of these behind-the-scenes discussions, revealing just how intriguing my presence had become.

Why was I seen as such a threat?

Perhaps my years in global marketing and public relations had given me a deep understanding of how to position myself effectively—something sorely lacking in an industry where program websites all echoed the same tired phrases and where most educational consultants relied entirely on the IECA and programs for referrals rather than truly marketing themselves.

One of my favorite writers, Haruki Murakami, once said, “Truth is not found in fixed stillness but in ceaseless change and movement.”

Isn’t that what our life stories are about—constant change and evolution?

The world never stops moving, and when we refuse to grow with it, we risk being left behind, watching from the platform as the train disappears into the distance. So, how do we break free when we live lives that don’t align with our true selves?

One powerful way is to ask:

If today were my last day, what would be my greatest regret?

Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse, wrote a book detailing the most common regrets of those nearing the end of their lives.

Interestingly, these regrets aren’t about wanting more adventure, thrill-seeking, or checking off bucket list items like world travel or zip-lining.

Instead, they are far more straightforward—deeply personal and tied to the heart.

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as shared in Bronnie Ware’s book:

I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

I wish I had let myself be happier.

I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

If today were your last day, what would be your greatest regret?

All five of these would resonate to some extent—at least, they do for me.

I believe the first one stands out as the most profound for most people:

“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

Aside from my Zen teacher, I struggle to think of anyone I know who has truly embraced this way of living, free from the weight of external expectations.

Such individuals are rare.

As for me, I’m managing—at least a little.

Since I committed more deeply to meditation and embraced writing, I’ve lived more authentically than ever. Becoming a writer has brought me greater happiness, yet I know there’s still a long journey ahead.

Life’s ending can arrive unexpectedly—through a broken ladder, a failing heart, or something unforeseen.

While we can’t predict when, we know it’s inevitable.

What is your age?

You may still have decades to carve out a path that fulfills you, but you must start now.

So, you might wonder—where do I begin?

Where to Start

Everyone must find their answer to that question.

The first step is simple: show yourself compassion, grace, and kindness.

Treat yourself with the same care and understanding you readily offer others.

After all, do unto others as you would have them do unto you—including yourself.

Love your neighbors, love your enemies, and love yourself. In the end, it all comes down to love.

The Beatles had it right when they sang, “All You Need Is Love.”

The song resonated so profoundly because it speaks a simple truth.

When my life comes to a close, my heart will be filled with love—for myself, my family, my friends, and the world—and I will have no regrets.

You might wonder, “With all the chaos in the world, how is that even possible?”

We’ve already given up hope when we believe love for all is impossible. And I refuse to think we’re doomed.

Love is the answer—it begins with me and starts with you.

Just imagine.