My life underwent a profound transformation after my cancer diagnosis and surgery. It changed how I lived, viewed people and the world around me, and what I truly valued. I let go of my regrets and released the anger I had held toward those who had hurt me.

I lived authentically for the first time, fully embracing who I was.

The following years were a journey of internal and external highs and lows; however, I finally moved forward.

Looking back, I realize that the pivotal changes stemmed from my cultivated habits and the unwavering support of those who genuinely cared. Sometimes, all it took was a gentle nudge or a moment of clarity to realign with my path and rediscover my purpose. Reflecting on those years, I see how they molded me into a stronger, more refined version of myself. Challenging times offer invaluable lessons, especially when we stay mindful and open to why things didn’t go as planned. Understanding that our mindset shapes our experiences has been a guiding truth for me.

The first major shift happened when I realized I needed to step back from my business. The balance between work and life had faded, and the demands of running the business began to seep into my personal space. It became increasingly difficult to maintain any sense of harmony as the stress from work followed me home. I longed for a simpler, more peaceful life where I could prioritize my well-being and regain my focus. The imbalance had a noticeable effect on my health, and during one of my cancer checkups, Dr. Swanson gave me a crucial wake-up call about the impact of stress and trauma. To clarify, while stress doesn’t directly cause cancer, chronic stress has been shown to promote cancer growth and spread in animal studies and may influence outcomes in humans.

Populations that have experienced trauma also show higher cancer rates compared to the general population, though the reasons behind this are complex.

It became clear to me that I needed to make a change.

That realization was pivotal—it marked the start of my journey to step back and refocus on what truly mattered in life—something far more valuable than managing a business.

This decision wasn’t just about physical recovery. It was also about reconnecting with a more profound sense of purpose. I understood that while running a business was necessary for financial stability, it took a toll on my happiness and health. My new focus became finding the right balance between personal and professional fulfillment.

Relationships, especially marriages, often test our emotional resilience. They push us to face our positive and negative emotions and reveal areas where we need to grow.

When a relationship ends, it gives us valuable insights about ourselves and what went wrong. Taking the time to reflect and honestly accept these lessons is crucial for personal growth. After leaving Dennis and taking Wendy, I explored my emotions more intensely. Through self-reflection, I uncovered areas where I needed to grow and recognized the critical role of healthy communication and boundaries in relationships. Instead of seeing my third divorce as a failure, I viewed it as a chance for growth and self-discovery. It took many years, along with therapy, to fully understand my emotional triggers and recognize the recurring patterns in my past relationships. I came to embrace the notion that every experience, whether positive or negative, contributed to my growth and deepened my understanding of love and partnership.

Another essential part of my journey was delving into my spirituality again and embracing my gifts as an intuitive empath. While meditation and yoga work for some, my spirituality has always been a more expansive concept, shaping how I approach life and see the world. At my core, I am a spiritual being navigating the complexities of the human experience. I had to rediscover the importance of balancing my spiritual self with my parental and social responsibilities. During my marriage to Dennis, I often made choices based on his expectations instead of staying true to my inner values. I realized that embracing life as a spiritual being was essential for me.

With Dennis having no spiritual beliefs, I knew I needed to return to making decisions that aligned with my inner guidance. During my journey, I engaged in practices that deepened my understanding of spirituality, including reading, thoughtful discussions, and reflecting on my past spiritual experiences. I found that embracing my spirituality enriched my life and strengthened my connections with others, fostering greater empathy and understanding.

While we often focus on building positive habits, addressing the ones we need to let go of is just as important. This phase of my journey involved stepping away from behaviors that weren’t serving me well. I became more mindful of unhealthy eating patterns and grew more intentional about the people I chose to surround myself with.

I understood that giving myself the same care and respect I extend to others was essential.

Just as my daughter needed the right environment to flourish, I needed to cultivate a nurturing space for myself. This involved reducing activities that drained my energy and being deliberate about how I spent my time. I tried to distance myself from Dennis, as his negative influence weighed heavily on me.

It was particularly difficult because we shared a daughter; however, I was determined to create room for healthier habits to grow.

I focused on nourishing my body, staying active with my daughter, and surrounding myself with positive, uplifting people.

This holistic approach to my well-being became a cornerstone of my transformation, though it did create significant challenges in co-parenting with Dennis.

My co-parenting dynamic with Dennis was changing rapidly. I was constantly on edge, aware of what he deemed necessary in my life and how he expected me to live. Maintaining my distance while sharing responsibility for our daughter became vital to my journey. I realized that to survive, I had to stay flexible and adaptable. I started exploring different personal and professional growth paths, including returning to school. I attended local workshops and committed time to reading and self-study.

The key was finding the motivation to pursue knowledge and evolve in all areas of my life. Intellectual growth became crucial for me in navigating the challenges of modern life as a single parent. By embracing curiosity and seeking new experiences, I opened myself to opportunities that deepened my understanding of the world.

This commitment to lifelong learning has been a key driver of my personal growth.

One of the most vital parts of my journey was realizing the importance of consistent health monitoring.

I visited Dr. Swanson every three months for blood work and thorough mole checks. This went on for five years and then changed to every six months. I’ll admit, before my cancer diagnosis, I often neglected my health. Now, it had become a top priority. I also started having regular checkups with my primary doctor, got routine mammograms, and made my well-being a central focus. Just as I used to monitor the health of my business by analyzing numbers, I realized I needed to take the same proactive approach with my body and health. I paid close attention to my well-being, and this intentional focus provided valuable insights while boosting my confidence as I began to see improvements. Over time, I better understood what worked for my body and what didn’t. This awareness empowered me to make more informed lifestyle choices, leading to a more profound sense of well-being and self-love.

Throughout my journey, the teachings of the Dalai Lama deeply resonated with my approach to life.

His Holiness emphasizes that true happiness comes from within—while physical comfort may not bring peace to an unsettled mind, inner calm can endure even in the face of physical pain.

He promotes the cultivation of human values like compassion, contentment, forgiveness, tolerance, and self-discipline, which he calls secular ethics or universal values. His message is that, as human beings, we are all fundamentally the same, seeking happiness and avoiding suffering. His teachings remind us that embracing these values can significantly enrich our lives even without religious beliefs. His commitment to sharing this wisdom with everyone he encounters has been a guiding light for me. By stepping away from the relentless cycle of running a business and managing stress, I found the space to reconnect with my inner self, realign my priorities, and view life from a fresh perspective. As the Dalai Lama teaches, many problems are human-made, stemming from a crisis within ourselves. Just as we create these challenges, we also have the power and responsibility to find solutions. Facing difficulties can open our minds to new ways of thinking about the world. I learned to live with intention, staying true to my values and embracing the journey rather than fixating on the outcomes.

Little did I know then that the years ahead would challenge me in ways I couldn’t have imagined.

There came a moment when I found myself standing at the crossroads between my past and future, embracing the changes I had made, yet unprepared for the challenges ahead. I faced those challenges, and they shaped me into who I am today, though they cost me more than I could have anticipated.

My journey has shown me that life isn’t just about overcoming challenges; it’s also about embracing growth and transformation.

Today, I’m dedicated to living with authenticity and mindfulness, letting my experiences lead me toward a brighter, more fulfilling future. As I continue on this path, I stay open to new connections, experiences, and lessons that will further enrich my life.