Grades weren’t just numbers; they were a part of who I was, even when I wished they weren’t. For someone like me, who had no standout talents outside academics as a teenager and young adult, excelling in my studies felt essential. My father’s pride was built on academic success, and I know many other students feel the same pressure to achieve.

As a gifted child, hearing praise from my father felt like the ultimate reward—something every academic achiever dreams of. I would do anything to hear him acknowledge my hard work and dedication.

The term “gifted child” was first used in 1869 by Francis Galton. Galton used the term to describe children who could inherit the potential to become gifted adults and adults who were already gifted in some area.

I always wished he could be there, watching proudly as I walked up on stage to receive my certificates and awards, a smile on his face. He did come once, when I graduated from 8th grade.

My high school and college grades became my identity and the only way to gain recognition at school and with my father. I constantly chased academic validation. It was an addictive, harmful fix.

I can’t stand people assuming that being a consistent honor student means life is easy, overlooking kids’ struggles today.

In middle and high school, I would ask myself, “What if I stopped caring? What if my grades slipped?” Would that finally make my father see I’m struggling—that I’m not always the cheerful, high-achieving student he thinks I am?

I pushed through endless stress, sleepless nights, and the quiet weight of meeting everyone’s expectations—my father, teachers, and classmates.

A person driven by the need for academic validation longs for their hard work to be acknowledged and appreciated.

They often grapple with questions of self-worth: Will others still be proud of me without my academic achievements? Am I deserving of recognition beyond my success in school?

It’s unfortunate.

However, I see more and more once-gifted children becoming burnt-out teenagers. As they enter senior high school, their sense of self is tightly bound to their academic performance. They will push themselves to score the highest and strive to be the best because that’s all they have ever known and done.

I knew I had more to offer than just my academic accomplishments. I knew I had to find balance in my worth, both in and outside of academics. I knew I was worthy of acceptance and love, regardless of my grades or achievements.

And I am confident that the person reading this also deserves recognition and appreciation.