You come first—not your boss, clients, co-workers, kids, neighbors, parents, or partner. The truth behind the saying, ‘You can’t pour from an empty cup,’ is often overlooked yet incredibly important.
Far too many of us exhaust ourselves trying to please others, prioritizing their needs while neglecting our own. You can’t truly show up for anyone else when you’re running on empty.
Your happiness, health, and well-being must take center stage before you can give your best to others.
Now that I’m in my 70s, I’ve been through my fair share of twists and turns—more than a few times.
Along the way, I’ve learned some valuable lessons, often the hard way. After all, there’s no teacher quite like experience. I’m a lifelong learner at heart.
Even though many others like to remind me that I’m ‘old,’ I know there’s no age limit on learning something new.
Over the past several years, I’ve dedicated myself to understanding and mastering my mindset and life, striving to create the best outcomes possible.
This year, in particular, has been transformative, marked by life-changing decisions that have reshaped my path.
Embracing a growth mindset has been the cornerstone of this journey. I find joy in believing in my capacity to evolve and grow. Looking back, I see how my lessons have shaped and deepened my commitment to ongoing growth and self-improvement.
Believe that the world is working in your favor—it’s a perspective that can transform your mindset.
I recently found a quote resonating deeply: ‘Foster the belief that the universe is always working in your favor.’
What struck me most is how true it feels when you start paying attention. The best way I’ve found to nurture this belief is by actively tracking it. I keep a list in the Notes app on my phone of how good things happen in my life, big or small. This practice has helped me reframe situations and notice opportunities I might have overlooked. And you know what?
The universe is working in my favor—and it can for you, too.
Shifting your focus this way can open your eyes to possibilities and positivity.
Dream big and go after what you want!
When we’re kids, we have bold dreams—of becoming astronauts, dancers, figure skaters, judges, NFL players, or Olympic athletes.
Growing up, we often trade those dreams for ordinary, ‘safe’ lives.
It’s time to let go of limitations and start dreaming big again. Begin by grabbing a journal and jotting down everything you wish you had the energy, money, or time to do. Then, choose one thing from your list and take the first step toward making it a reality.
For years, I dreamed of transforming my home office into a serene and inspiring writing room—something more meaningful than a traditional workspace.
I finally decided to stop waiting for the ‘perfect’ time and took the plunge.
I brought my vision to life by hiring a muralist, selling the old office furniture, and investing in a stunning writing desk, elegant bookshelves, two plush swivel chairs, and a magnificent antique rug. I fully committed to making it happen. Had I ever tackled a project like this before? Not at all. Did I know exactly how it would turn out?
Absolutely not. But I figured, worst case, I’d have an updated office space. And guess what? It turned out beautifully. With the help of a talented muralist and an interior designer, I brought my vision to life. Now, I have a tranquil space to write and invite friends for tea. This experience reminded me that when you dare to dream big and take action, you can create more than you ever imagined.
Embrace gratitude. Few things are as impactful for reshaping your mindset as practicing gratitude. I’ve mentioned this before and keep bringing it up because it’s straightforward and surprisingly easy to overlook.
Gratitude has a profound ripple effect—it enhances mental health, strengthens relationships, and shifts our focus toward the positive aspects of life.
By making it a regular habit, we unlock benefits that improve our inner world and our connections with others.
Energy is something you create. Sitting still won’t recharge you (unless you’re sick and need rest to recover).
Instead, being active is what boosts your energy. Physical activity triggers endorphins and improves blood flow, giving you an immediate lift and providing significant long-term benefits. Does this mean you need to train for a marathon?
Not—unless that’s your thing.
It simply means that when you’re feeling low on energy, move your body: stretch, walk outside, or turn up the music and dance in your kitchen. Just do something to get your heart pumping, and you’ll feel your energy rise.
Extend the benefit of the doubt to others. Thinking generously about people’s actions can positively impact our own mindset and well-being.
Some might argue that this approach leaves us vulnerable; however, that’s not the point—I’m not suggesting we leave our doors unlocked or our purses and wallets unattended.
Instead, it’s about choosing kindness whenever possible. For instance, if someone cuts us off in traffic, consider that they might be having a rough day—or, as I like to imagine, maybe they urgently need a restroom!
Giving people grace makes their actions more understandable and reminds us of our moments of imperfection, like when we make driving mistakes.
Extending understanding benefits everyone.
Make space for creativity every day. Beyond our innate desire to belong, one of the deepest human yearnings is to create.
Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf beautifully expressed this: ‘The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before.’
Creativity doesn’t have to mean crafting. It’s about finding ways to bring something new into the world, whether through cooking, writing, problem-solving, or simply freshly reimagining the ordinary.
Prioritize taking care of yourself—it’s your responsibility, and no one else can do it.
Ensure your needs are met by staying active, getting enough rest, nourishing your body with healthy food, and staying hydrated. Don’t neglect the small things that make you feel good, like keeping up with your hair, getting dressed daily, and managing your mindset. Make time for creativity, dream big, and focus on your personal growth. By caring for yourself, you’ll be better equipped to love others, extend grace, and recognize how life works in your favor.
The most powerful way to change the world is through love and service to those around you.
When you want to transform your life, mindset, or relationships, start by putting more love into the world. Do what you love. Spend time with people you love. Treat yourself with kindness and love. Tell others you love them. Act with love in your words and actions.
I’m inspired by this quote: ‘In a world often marked by division and discord, recognizing and embracing the abundance of love that surrounds us is essential. Whether it’s the laughter shared with friends, the warmth of family, or the kindness of strangers, love enriches our lives in countless ways. By nurturing love in all its forms, we deepen our connections, foster gratitude, and create fulfillment.’
As we move through life, let’s pause to notice and appreciate the love around us—and intentionally add more of it to the world.
Thoughts are not facts. Just because we think something doesn’t mean it’s true.
Often, our minds create ‘stories’ about our lives and the people around us—we assume we know what others are thinking or how situations will unfold.
The problem is that when we act on these assumptions as if they’re the truth, we close ourselves off from growing, learning, and truly understanding others. This can hinder our ability to listen and respond with an open mind.
We all face challenges—it’s a universal truth. Whether it’s anxiety, depression, diabetes, or heart disease, everyone has something they need to manage.
For example, a person with diabetes must monitor their sugar intake, just as someone with anxiety must be mindful of their thoughts. No one is exempt from having struggles. It’s also true that managing those struggles is our responsibility. It’s up to us to take ownership of the things we face and work toward living our best life despite them.
What others think of you is none of your business—a powerful and liberating reminder from Deepak Chopra.
Humans are wired to seek belonging and connection, yet this natural desire can become harmful when we prioritize others’ opinions over our well-being.
Living to please others means sacrificing pieces of who we are, and in the end, it doesn’t work.
People’s thoughts and perceptions are shaped by their experiences, feelings, and perspectives—things we can’t control.
However, we can control how we show up for ourselves and live authentically, prioritizing self-care and self-respect.
You are the only person you have the power to change. While you can inspire, influence, or request others’ help, actual change comes from within, which applies only to yourself. The good news?
This means you hold the key to creating meaningful change in your life. You can either work to transform your circumstances or shift your perspective to see them in a new light.
The power to adapt and grow is always within your reach.
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