Life can be unpredictable and indiscriminate in its challenges.

Good people, bad people, and everyone in between face heartbreaking tragedies, unexpected job losses, and moments where justice feels out of reach. Life often throws us into a game we were never taught to play, with curveballs that test our resilience and strength. It’s crucial to embrace both the highs and the lows, finding balance in the chaos. After every storm, the sun emerges, reminding us to breathe and persevere through difficult times. While we may not immediately understand why things happen, the reasons often reveal themselves in time, offering clarity and growth in hindsight.

Over the years, I’ve worked with countless individuals striving for change, growth, and success. A common theme that emerges is a fixation on the concept of fairness in their journey and life. Often, it starts with the belief that simply trying should be enough to earn a reward, regardless of whether the goal is achieved.

On the flip side, this raises the argument that rewarding effort without success could undermine the accomplishments of those who reach their goals.

And then, of course, there’s the inevitable question: does one person succeed while another fails due to unfair advantages, and if so, how do we even begin to measure fairness in such cases?

Here’s the bigger question: does constantly comparing ourselves to those we perceive as having more resources, opportunities, or advantages help us achieve what we desire?

Or does it breed a sense of victimhood, keeping us trapped in a mindset that limits growth and fulfillment?

Life is not fair; it never was, and it never will be. Do not fall into the entitlement trap of feeling like you’re a victim. You are not.

~Matthew McConaughey

At first glance, the pursuit of fairness in life might seem reasonable, even noble. However, it can quickly become a trap of entitlement. Deep down, we all know that life comes with no guarantees, yet it’s all too easy to fall into the mindset of comparing ourselves to others and wondering, “Why not me?”

The truth is that earning a degree doesn’t ensure a job. Twenty years of dedicated service doesn’t promise a six-figure salary, a corner office, or job security.

Growing older doesn’t guarantee finding a life partner. And sometimes, fairness feels nonexistent when good people face hardships through no fault of their own. Life doesn’t always follow our expectations, and clinging to fairness can often lead to frustration and disillusionment rather than clarity and acceptance.

Some people will have more than you, while others will have far less. Not everyone will match the depth of your care or reciprocate your feelings equally.

Some will betray, deceive, or manipulate you. Some will take advantage of your kindness, claiming to love you with conviction, even when their actions show otherwise. You can do all the right things, have a positive mindset, work hard, be kind and caring, say positive affirmations until you are blue in the face, and still get rear-ended when you back out of your driveway tomorrow morning. If there’s any fairness in life, we will face our share of challenges, heartaches, setbacks, and victories. With these experiences comes an opportunity to transform them into something meaningful.

Consider this perspective: anything that irritates you offers a chance to practice patience. Being abandoned taught me resilience and self-reliance.

Your fears are invitations to cultivate confidence and courage. You see where this is going.

So, the next time you think life is unfair, take a deep breath and remind yourself—this is your journey, and it’s yours to OWN.

Who knows?

By shifting your focus away from the unfairness of what you do or don’t have, you might discover that this path leads to a reality far more significant than anything you ever imagined!