Dore Frances

Paralyzing Fear: Every Encounter with My Father Changed Me

Every encounter with my father evoked a paralyzing fear unlike any I had ever known.

It felt like I had an invisible barrier up at all times, and every attempt he made to cross it put me on edge, like stepping into enemy territory. We never really hugged—our embraces were stiff as if we were going through the motions, pretending to have a normal father-daughter relationship, eager to get it over with.

At his funeral, I had no choice but to get close to him. It was mandatory to greet a line of relatives upon arrival—ten. I remember how difficult it was to face each one, especially as I approached the end of the line where Dotti, Rick, Ron, my stepmother, and […]

By Doré Frances|2025-02-25T14:00:34-07:00August 10th, 2024|Aldo Cascinai (Dad), Dore Frances, Why Wisdom Is Harder Than You Think|0 Comments

Struggling Against My Father: A Journey of Conflict and Understanding

I had been struggling against my father … an abusive husband, my faith, my anxiety, and all the injustices in the world

But to what end? I was more distressed and emotionally wounded than ever before. Therapy had become a necessity, helping me navigate the trauma of the sexual abuse inflicted by my father. It was July, and my father was preparing to leave for his annual fishing trip with his friend, Dr. Martinelli. I knew it was time to confront him. So, I drove two hours from Pacific Grove, California, to his house in Los Altos.

As I exited the car, he emerged from the house onto the front porch. At that moment, I felt a sense of assertiveness, personal power, […]

By Doré Frances|2025-02-25T13:56:36-07:00August 9th, 2024|Aldo Cascinai (Dad), Dore Frances, Why Wisdom Is Harder Than You Think|0 Comments

The Only Way My Dad Knew How to Show Love – A Personal Reflection

The only way my dad knew how to show love …… was through money.

Money was his universal emotional language, the medium for his apologies, appeasements, grief, guilt, joy, love, pride, and attempts at reconciliation.

I always struggled to see the value in what he was offering. Despite everything that happened in my childhood, I craved a genuine connection.

For my step-brothers, though, money was enough.

They used to say, “If Dad can’t express his feelings, his money works just fine for me.”

Growing up, we never struggled financially. My father was a veterinarian with […]

By Doré Frances|2025-02-25T15:02:32-07:00August 7th, 2024|1161 Covington Road, Aldo Cascinai (Dad), Dore Frances, Why Wisdom Is Harder Than You Think|0 Comments

Bravery Is Not About Doing What’s Easy – It’s About Facing Challenges

It is about doing what is right.

It means refusing to conform to the crowd.

Even when they say they represent you, even when it might seem beneficial – I have refused to conform.

It means marching to the beat of your drum and standing unapologetically and unwaveringly for your ideals, morals, principles, rights, and values, even in the face of backlash, harassment, and scrutiny.

It is about holding to your values, even when they differ from your business and personal community.

It involves making sacrifices when necessary when someone or something does not align with your values. It means turning down paid opportunities that conflict with your principles. It is about initiating discussions on fundamental and pressing issues, having difficult and honest conversations, and […]

By Doré Frances|2025-02-25T13:51:04-07:00August 4th, 2024|Dore Frances, Why Wisdom Is Harder Than You Think|0 Comments

My Life Before Bend, Oregon: A Journey of Change and Growth

Before moving to Bend, Oregon, in 2005, my life was far from empty. I had been living in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho.

In 2003, I left Pacific Grove, California, to move as far away from my former husband. I felt that if I didn’t leave, I would die, one way or another.

Leaving my daughter, who had just graduated high school, was agonizing. I couldn’t tell her what was happening; I didn’t dare. She was living blocks away from me with her dad.

In Idaho, I dedicated countless hours to launching my dream company, Horizon Family Solutions. The work was compelling, cutting-edge, and even fun.

I often spent ten to twelve hours daily in my office, including weekends.

This routine was incredible until it wasn’t. Industry […]

By Doré Frances|2025-08-12T16:01:12-06:00August 3rd, 2024|Bend, Oregon, Coeur d'Alene, Idaho., Dore Frances, Why Wisdom Is Harder Than You Think|0 Comments

Meeting Shaman Titi: A Transformative Trek Through Peru

In April of 2009, I embarked on a transformative journey guided by Titi to overcome feeling stuck in my career, educational goals, the loss of a great love, and past traumas. Traveling alone to South America to spend weeks with a shaman I had never met was a miracle. It was a step away from my comfort zone and past reminders. Yet, no matter how far you go, you carry your past. Titi greeted me kindly at customs. At that time, I was overwhelmed by loss—my mother, a friend who died of brain cancer, my grandparents, and even my high school prom date, who committed suicide.

By Doré Frances|2025-08-12T16:00:19-06:00August 2nd, 2024|Dore Frances, Peru Adventure 2009, Why Wisdom Is Harder Than You Think|0 Comments

Losing Everything Overnight: A Childhood Shattered by Family Secrets

Remember the kitchen where, as a child, you enjoyed meals with your family? You watched TV or played with your siblings on the couch in the family room. Your bedroom is filled with your favorite books and cherished bed covers. The yard where you played with your dogs or friends.

The barn where we kept the horses was a daily sanctuary for mother-daughter conversations, a place that always felt safe and comforting.

Reflect on your school and the friends in your neighborhood, the local ice cream shop, and the park where you ride your bike.

Then, imagine it all disappearing in 24 hours—no home, animals, clothes, friends, horses, school, or mom. No safety.

The day after my Aunt Connie’s piercing scream, our living room […]

By Doré Frances|2025-08-12T15:59:37-06:00July 30th, 2024|Dore Frances, Frances Cascinai (Mom)|0 Comments

Facing the Truth: A Powerful Admission That Changes Everything

I mask. As someone who is an intuitive empath and introvert dealing with grief, I often hide my true feelings—a lot. It’s incredibly exhausting; however, I do it because I’m afraid of losing friends should I reveal what I’m going through.

Right now…

Hiding my feelings means concealing my deep and unbearable grief, guilt, shame, and trauma daily. It means finding the strength to avoid having a meltdown at the store, in my car, with friends, or at home because I miss my brother so much.

It means holding back tears before every meeting or phone call.

It means masking my pain with laughter and smiles.

It means not mentioning the loss after two years because I feel I need to be over it by […]

By Doré Frances|2025-10-08T09:26:35-06:00July 24th, 2024|Dore Frances, Why Wisdom Is Harder Than You Think|0 Comments