What happens when you need and want to tell the truth about things you can’t quite remember? These blog posts document my many attempts to remember and to tell the truth.

Growing Up with a Stepmother Struggling with Bipolar Disorder

Unpredictable actions, intense emotional shifts, and suicide threats.

I am opening up about my experience growing up with a step-parent who had bipolar disorder.

At 12, I moved into the house at 1161 Covington Road in Los Altos, California, and began life in what appeared to be a typical middle-class family.

However, those close to us—friends, neighbors, and relatives—were well aware of the underlying turmoil. I never knew which version of my stepmother I’d face each morning. Would she be the nurturing stepmom I had expected, as promised by my father?

Or the aloof stepmom who insisted I start looking after myself and care for my three younger brothers and even demanded that I pay for any food I took from the kitchen?

Some […]

The Unfortunate Reasons Families Create a Black Sheep

I was the outcast in my family.

The “black sheep.”

Often viewed as the family outcast, the black sheep is typically perceived as different or unusual.

The family usually believes the black sheep is to blame for their isolation. While it’s true that the black sheep may sometimes be seen as “odd” by general standards, my label came from my intuitive and empathetic ability to see into people’s souls.

My stepmother, however, dismissed this as a sign of mental illness. It’s uncommon for someone labeled as a black sheep to have a mental disorder.

In truth, many black sheep are kind-hearted individuals with much to offer their families and the world. Often, they are among the most talented and insightful, sometimes the most creative, or […]

By |2025-02-25T15:45:33-07:00September 13th, 2024|Dore Frances, Why Wisdom Is Harder Than You Think|0 Comments

Are We Defined by Our Choices? The Power of Decisions in Shaping Our Lives

Where I am today is the outcome of my choices—whether five years ago, fifteen years ago, or even this morning. We are responsible for how our lives have unfolded and play a crucial part in shaping our future. While we’re constantly making decisions, we don’t always fully grasp their long-term impact.

I know I certainly didn’t when I was younger. The first step is clearly defining the kind of life you want.

My intention was to have a calm, comfortable, happy, simple, and uncomplicated life.

Before making any decisions, it’s essential to ask yourself, “Will this action bring me closer to the life I envision or push me further away from it?”

I didn’t start consciously asking myself these questions until I was in […]

By |2025-02-25T15:43:01-07:00September 13th, 2024|Dore Frances, Why Wisdom Is Harder Than You Think|0 Comments

No Escape: Confronting the Past and Finding Strength

I was on sabbatical in Pacific Grove, California, one year ago today. Aspen and I spent the day at Pebble Beach, visiting the iconic Lone Cypress, often regarded as the most photographed tree in the world. The Lone Cypress stands as a powerful symbol of resilience and perseverance, thriving despite the harsh elements of its environment and enduring even through efforts to remove it from its precarious position.

Earlier today, I found myself sitting in my therapist’s office.

I think many of us share the misconception that the ideal way to live is by avoiding pain and seeking comfort above all else.

For much of my life, I held onto this belief myself.

Looking back, I realize I’ve lived a bold, adventurous life that […]

The Beatles’ Historic First Concert in Seattle: A Night to Remember

The Beatles played their first Seattle concert on August 21, 1964, with more than 14,000 excited fans packing the old Seattle Center Coliseum. Despite the electric atmosphere, the cheers were so loud that most of us couldn’t hear the music. I was there among the crowd, thanks to my Aunt Dorothy, who surprised my friend Jeannie and me with tickets for my birthday while I was visiting her in Washington that summer. The noise was intense. This concert was only the third stop on The Beatles’ inaugural U.S. tour and the first event ever held at the venue, originally built for the World’s Fair. The crowd’s volume was overwhelming. It made no difference to fans like me, who was only […]

A Great Sadness: Navigating Grief and Healing

Everyone assured me that my grief would ease after a year, but it only intensified.

I couldn’t help but wonder—was there something wrong with me?

On January 5, 2022, profound sorrow and a great sadness enveloped my life, leaving me silent for a long time. I withdrew from social interactions, rarely seeing anyone except during brief encounters at the local grocery store or on an occasional walk with Aspen. When I did cross paths with someone, a polite hug might be exchanged, but words were scarce. Being around others was challenging for me. I feared that any conversation might rip open the fragile scab over my wounded heart.

We all experience the loss of loved ones throughout our lives. For most, time eventually […]

Relinquish: The Power of Letting Go and Moving Forward

For me, wisdom lies less in gaining more knowledge and more in relinquishing the belief that we hold any absolute truths.

On my first night in Peru, before beginning our three-week adventure with the next day’s descent to Machu Picchu, Titi asked me to share my life story.

The simple question, ‘What’s your life story?’ seems straightforward.

So why did it leave me stumbling and at a loss for words? After all, I love stories and even write them myself. So why was it so difficult to share my own? I find it easy to be curious about others; however, it’s much harder to open up and be vulnerable about myself.

I’m hesitant to share my story with Titi. For many years, I believed […]

How Old Is Too Old? Challenging Age Limits and Expectations

Reflecting on the future as I start year 72.

As I celebrated the completion of 71 years yesterday, I viewed the world with new eyes. It wasn’t a naive optimism but a clear realization that I have reached an advanced age. This awareness has brought about unexpected changes in me, particularly as I ponder what lies ahead.

For decades, my guiding principle has been, “You are never too old to become who you want to be.”

I’ve successfully reinvented myself every decade, embracing each new chapter of my life. But now, I find myself wondering—what will my 70s bring?

Here’s a brief overview of the various stages of my life. At age thirty-three, I became a mom and dropped out of school. I started […]

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