With less exposure to the news and media, I’ve noticed a welcome change in my life. There is less negativity, less unnecessary worry, and more room for the things that truly matter to me.

And it feels wonderful. But I’ve also come to realize that limiting the negativity I allow into my life is only half the equation.

What about the negativity I may be contributing to the world?

Are my thoughts, words, and actions part of the problem?

Am I bringing understanding and kindness into my relationships, or am I sometimes adding to the very things I wish to escape?

And perhaps the most important question of all: How can I become part of the solution?

These questions have led me to reflect on a decision I made many years ago, one that profoundly changed the direction of my life.

The Courage to Begin Again

After living in California for 50 years, I found myself in circumstances where leaving had become necessary for my own safety. It wasn’t a decision I made lightly. I had spent much of my life in California, surrounded by familiar places, friendships, and memories. I loved the natural beauty of Pacific Grove, especially the coastline and the peaceful moments it offered.

Yet beneath that beauty, I knew something in my life needed to change. I longed for a greater sense of safety, deeper connections with people, and a life in which I wasn’t constantly concerned about what was happening around me. This was before social media became part of our everyday lives, before texting replaced so many conversations, and when staying connected with someone generally meant picking up the telephone and actually talking. I wanted more meaningful connections, but I also needed something I hadn’t given myself enough time to discover.

I needed to learn who I was, apart from the circumstances that had shaped my life.

So I packed my belongings, gathered my three cats, and moved to Coeur d’Alene, Idaho.

I knew exactly one person there. Looking back, I realize how much courage, determination, and faith in myself that decision required.

Discovering a Different Life

Moving to Idaho wasn’t about reinventing myself or becoming someone entirely different. It was about finally having the freedom to become the person I had always wanted to be.

For so many years, my circumstances had influenced how I lived, the choices I made, and the things I believed were possible for me. Once I felt safe, I could begin looking beyond those circumstances and discovering what genuinely brought me happiness, fulfillment, and peace.

Professionally, I flourished. My business became more successful, and I was earning more than I had in California. But more importantly, I was happier. I was passionate about my work, taking better care of myself, eating healthier, and discovering the simple pleasures of everyday life. I  was no longer simply trying to get through each day. I was beginning to enjoy my life.

I wasn’t leaving myself behind in California.

I was finally giving myself permission to live my own life.

The Sacrifice Behind the Decision

Of course, new beginnings rarely come without sacrifice. The most painful part of leaving California was leaving my 18-year-old daughter behind. There is no easy way to describe what that meant to me. I mourned the distance between us. I mourned the friendships I had left behind and the beauty of the place I had called home for so many years.

I missed Pacific Grove and the familiar surroundings that had been woven into my life. Even when we know a decision is necessary, it doesn’t mean we are spared the sadness that comes with making it.

I had to accept that I could love the people and places I was leaving while also recognizing that staying was no longer right for me.

That realization required determination, grit, and self-control.

Over the years, those qualities have served me well in nearly every aspect of my life. I learned that making a difficult decision doesn’t mean we stop caring about what we’re leaving behind.

Sometimes it means we finally begin caring for ourselves, too.

Becoming Part of the Solution

When I reflect on that period of my life, I recognize that moving to Idaho was about much more than finding a safer place to live. It was about taking responsibility for the direction of my life. I couldn’t change everything that had happened to me. I couldn’t control the behavior of others or undo the circumstances that made leaving necessary. But I could decide how I wanted to live going forward. And that brings me back to the questions I ask myself today. Reducing my exposure to negativity is a choice. But so is examining the thoughts I entertain, the words I speak, and the way I treat others. I can choose to listen rather than judge. I can choose kindness instead of criticism. I can recognize when my own reactions are contributing to a problem rather than helping to resolve it. And I can continue learning, even at this stage of my life. I don’t believe personal growth means becoming someone who never makes mistakes or never experiences negative thoughts. For me, it means becoming more aware of how I respond to life and taking responsibility for the things I can change.

My move to Idaho taught me that changing my circumstances could improve my life.

What I’ve learned in the years since is that changing how I think, speak, and respond can improve not only my own life but also the lives of those around me.

Perhaps becoming part of the solution begins with something as simple, and as challenging, as being willing to look within ourselves. And then having the courage to make a change