Yes, I have withdrawn from people, from intimacy, from the world itself. I found safety in small rituals and long hours of familiar television. But I will not let fear decide the shape of my life. I face it with strength forged through survival, grounding myself in what I already know I can withstand.

I am a grown woman now, and I know what monsters are. My childhood was defined by abuse and silence, and my adolescence by betrayal.

Once I went to live with Al and Dotti in Los Altos, my life entered a period of sustained abuse: incest, molestation, parental neglect, severe corporal punishment, and rape.

As a teenager, I was sexually trafficked […]

I woke as the sun began to rise, unsettled by the knowledge that my aunt had been heard sobbing and screaming during the night.

I wasn’t panicked—no one wakes expecting to learn that their mother has died.

I noticed my uncle Chuck quietly making phone calls. When I asked if we could call my mom that morning, a flicker of alarm crossed his face. Then the doorbell rang.

My father, our church’s youth pastor, and my Grandpa Bell entered the living room and sat down together, composed and deliberate. George and I were told to stay in the kitchen and finish our breakfast. I had no idea that the moment we were waiting for would […]